Un obstacle sur ma route, un bug dans la matrice, tellement l'impression de ne rien valoir... c'est douloureux, pour les autres, c'est plus dur pour eux que pour moi.
Perfectionnisme, recherche non de l'excellent, mais du parfait, parfait qui reste et restera inaccessible. Lutte sans fin et sans issue, il ne me reste qu'à combattre ce sentiment d'échec à chaque faux pas ...
J'ai envie de demander pardon à ceux, à celui qui souffre pour moi de mes erreurs, à celui qui a plus confiance en moi que je n'ai jamais eu ... pardon.

not as perfect as I would like to be
nothing is enough
every doubt is a failure
every step is a risk to fall
i'll never be
what i always wanted to be
every gift they say i have
is a lie in my mind
all the things they understand
doesn't make sense to me
i don't deserve being among them
just want to disappear
want to get as black as the falling night
don't deserve living
don't deserve love, don't deserve them
it's horrible to be a perfectionist
to make people who love you disappointed
when you say you're not what they think
make people who take care of you cry
when you say they believe in a lie
when everyone trust you
and you can't bear your own way of thinking
when disgust leads you to hate
you start hating yourself, you start losing your confidence
and they don't understand
why you cry every day, every night
every time they look at you
and you think they should hate you
cos' you're a perfectionist
i'm a perfectionist

pardonnez les fautes, c'est tellement loin d'être parfait...